Back in the day, all I wanted was to have a roommate to speak with. Now, I think I have to reconsider how important companionship is for me. Enjoy every season, my dear.
Today at church, I was reminded of Genesis 2: 18.
God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.”
Every time I read the scripture, I had always thought about marriage and honestly, I knew I would struggle with co-living with the other gender. That gender will embarrass you. They don’t have their bath till the evening or wash their underpants.
These past weeks, however, have taught me though, that having someone in your life to call during a hospital emergency and speak with can help bring out springs of laughter.
While nobody can make you happy but yourself, surrounding yourself with the right community helps increase the dose of happiness.
Most people think that if they get married and have kids, that would be the end of their happiness. However, marriage and happiness are not mutually exclusive nor are they dependent on each other.
I love my biological sisters, but I have come to realise that I have the capacity to love more sisters. Rather than allow men to come between sisterhoods, I am beginning to see what we are capable of if we protect each other and are not in competition with ourselves.
Back to my gist, before making a commitment to the room an individual, it is important to determine their compatibility
Firstly, check your movie-watching compatibility: How will you watch “Anikulapo” with someone who loves to fast forward every scene?
Secondly, check your prayer/spiritual compatibility: How can I be with Precious and she will be saying that we are having an unannounced prayer vigil? Kilode now! Even Peter slept when Jesus said he should be praying.
Thirdly, check your safe words: Do you have someone you can call during an “emergency emergency”? Gospel truth: Find your community and get comfortable with being open with them. Also, have emergency contacts saved. When you live alone, let your neighbours know who you have on speed dial. If you are planning to have a roommate, ensure you know who your roommate has on speed dial.
Fourthly, check your social media compatibility: You might find yourself trending on Tik Tok with a viral video, or your picture as a meme, if you are not careful.
Fifthly, check out your emotional compatibility: I have been accused by my sisters that I am not very emotional because I do not say words. I am learning to consistently call and check on everyone. But GOD Abeg, free wifi with password dey available and is enough.
Next, check your personality compatibility: Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Are you a social animal or ‘sapavert’? Having a level of self-awareness, helps you realise how much of the other person’s behaviour you can take.
In all honesty, here are the three things you should consider when having a roommate.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you oh.
Here are the questions you shouldn’t be afraid to ask:
When do you pay bills?
Who pays what bills?
How do we share food items?
How do we share household chores?
How do you feel about guests coming over?
How do you feel about guest spending the night?
How do you feel about Tik-Tok Videos?
Do you like your light switched on or off?
How do you handle washing dishes?
How often do you have TV/ phone music on?
What are you hoping from me as a room mate?
How do we resolve conflict?